How to be a Lefty Liberal - Part Two

Some more traits illustrating exactly how to be a fashionable trendy faux liberal:

• Hate George Bush no matter what. You don't know why you hate him, or that his administration contributed more aid to Africa than any other nation. You just know that you hate him.

• Love Barack Obama no matter what. And use the historical aspect of him being the first black president to mask his shortcomings. Accuse anyone who questions Him of being racist.

• You still think the Tory Party are evil and you somehow see significant differences between them and Labour that nobody else does.

• You think all white working class people vote BNP. All of them.

• You claim to support both gay rights and Islam, but are only willing to discuss anti-homosexual crimes committed by followers of religions apart from Islam.

• You think the same teachers who struggle to teach children how to spell their own names are qualified to provide sex education.

• You slam the management culture of private business, whilst blaming the failings of public sector organisations on lack of funding for better management.

• You criticise existing laws left over from the last Tory administration, but refuse to question why Labour haven't changed them.

• You think Nelson Mandela was jailed purely because he's black.

• You attend anti-war demonstrations whilst wearing camouflage combat trousers and don't see the irony.

• You dub the BNP far right when they are actually far left.

• Whenever someone criticises the Cuban regime, you shout "free health service" and quickly change the subject.

• To avoid debate on man made global warming, you simply state: "The science is settled".

• You then change the name of man-made global warming to "climate change" in a feeble attempt to blur the boundaries and cover all bases. After all, knowing full well the climate will always change ensures you'll always have a march to attend.

• You don't recognise that your climate protests are simply providing governments with the perfect excuse to raise flight taxes, which affects those same materialistically unwealthy people you claim to care for so much.

• You turn a blind eye to Hamas attrocities perpetrated against their own people.

• You are rarely pro anything, nearly always anti. The only exceptions being "pro choice" and "pro [insert buzzword here] rights". You are anti everything else in the world. Ever.

• Your most prized possessions are your iPod (full of angry music, I might add) and your Blackberry. Yet you claim to hate materialism.

That will be all. Oh, and if you can think of some more that I should add, leave a comment :-)