Cunt Watch: MSNBC

I think the video tells you all you need to know.

No Real News, Obviously

The perpetually offended brigade never seem to have a day off. In fact I am stroking my chin wondering whether this article is actually serious or is in fact a piss take aimed squarely at the politeness Nazis ("TV Advertising Decorum and Taste Tsar", anyone? Gordon? You fat cunt.).

If someone says something is offensive, then therefore it must be offensive to everyone, right? Period.

My answer to Peter of the Grauniad? If you don't like the fucking adverts, then don't watch the fucking adverts!

Some quality aren't-I-nice-because-my-heart-bleeds-for-all-and-yours-doesn't-so-you're-fucking-scum quotes jump out at me from this article, here goes:

"However on this occasion, my girlfriend, who is Ukrainian, turned to me and said: I don't like this advert, it is very offensive to me." I mentioned it to a friend who said his Latvian lodger also found it offensive"

Look at them all! Everyone who is anyone has a token Eastern European friend! Does anyone know if they're collectable? Or are these Lefty types just after some extra thermal vests from people who actually know what it's like to have real snow? What happened to global warming?

Oh, and Alan Partridge has a Ukranian girlfriend too (quite tasty actually), and he reads the Daily Mail.

"I asked my girlfriend why that might be. She told me that people from eastern Europe were brought up in a society where it was not normal to complain"

That's because they were fucking communist, dickwad. Anyone who complained was taken to a dark room and shot.

My opinion to all this? Well, fucking cabbage offends me but my mother still made me eat it. This isn't racism. This is desperation.

So Peter, fuck the fuck off, you miserable cunt.

Fucking Do-Gooder BBC Cunts. Again

I'm just listening to a cracking debate on Radio Five Dead (albeit I'm pissed out of my face on white rum!). Some sanctimonious cunt of a woman is practically giving a bollocking to a caller for administering a bit of discipline to her children (i.e. the caller's point was smacking as a very last resort is OK, which as a matter of safety to a child, I agree with). I will link to this arrogant middle class bi-atch's fucking rantings once the program is available.

What I really don't get, is how you're supposed to avoid laying a hand on your child, say if he/she runs out into the road? Bearing in mind the right-on woman in question seems to think any physical contact is *wrong*, presumably it's OK to just let your kids run out onto the M25 and get splattered by a juggernaut? What the fucking fuck?!?!?! Ok, let them get run the fuck down. See if that bloated bunch of cunts at the BBC gives a shit.

The BBC is full of fucking shit and fashionable moral highground (well, fashionable amongst your Islington faux-liberals, which last time I checked didn't make up a great deal of the pissing populace). If only they would apply the same rigid right-on restraint and self disicpline to themselves and their cunting expenses.

Fucking die BBC, you stinking fucking offal.

Dog Has Shit

I just went out onto the main steps outside the office for a smoke.

Some pikey cunt had just let his mutt drop a fucking huge curly logger on said steps.

Dirty fucking bastard.

Labour Gets Twat Tsar

Apparently MP's need someone to show them how to press a fucking submit button.

I could do that for them at only 2 thirds of the rate.

Labour are Twitter Youtube Flickr cunts.

Troughing cunts.

Blacklisted Banned

The Citizens' Advice Bureau have banned the word "Blacklist" from correspondences and emails they circulate in their offices. Here are some more words and phrases the establishment could ban:

Blackberry, Whitewash, Yellow Fever, Brownfield, Redcurrent (we might offend sunburnt people), White phospherous, Black sheep...

You get the gist.

The Citizens' Advice Bureau "management" are language stealing cunts.

What Fucking Mission?

Notice how all the difficult questions, or indeed any real questions at all (i.e. what is Labour's fucking mission in Afghanistan anyway) are omitted from this tasty piece of BBC brown nosing.

Would someone please tell me, what exactly is the point of Bob the Knob?

Fuck the fuck off you big wimpy bitch.

Cunt Watch: Union of Fascists

From last weekend (this blog didn't exist last weekend, although this is worth noting despite the age of the story).

The irony is just so lost on these commie-inspired, government funded, inherently fascist and bloody minded cunts.

Kick the fuck out of someone for disagreeing with you? Oh, definitely. That's fucking di-mok-ra-cay, right? Burn a British flag? I thought you cunts were fucking British. Join this fucking useless bunch of wound up menstrual fucktards and get your free assault pass today.

Unite Against Fascism are violent hypocritical cunts.

Fuck the fuck off.

Lefties, Homophobia, Islam and Infighting

The beliefs of left wing luvvy faux-liberals jump around like a fucking smackhead at a Motorhead concert.

In between intense sessions of deep throating the Religion of Peace and Love, they like to spread the message of opression and prejudice directed towards the homosexual population. But why do none of these professionally blinkered cunts actually bother to offer prominant reporting spots to incidents like this?

Study the Left, listen carefully to them, and realise they're the biggest fucking contradiction on earth. Then consider what these "peace and love" cunts really stand to gain from all this.

That will be all.

So Fucking Angry - Again!

Yet more action in the land of fucking pikey. This time a couple of fucking benefit scrounging, misbehaving, lying, pissed up, vandalising racist cunts accusing all-and-sundry of being racist cunts. Un-fucking-believable.

What I struggle to get my head around is the fact that people who choose to live in this way (i.e. like fucking thieving scum) get to have their own fucking "race". What the twatting fuck? Does anyone accuse those who slate bankers or businessmen of racism? Didn't fucking think so.

Cheers Labour, you fat cunts.

Cunt Watch: George Monbiot

George fucking Moonbat, or whatever his name is, doesn't seem to have much in his locker when it comes to variation in his subject matter:

He does occasionally involve himself in other aspects of protecting the world's populace from repression, hurt and doom, but for the most part he's just an arrogant middle class name-calling cunt.

Fuck the fuck off and get a job.

Cunt.

Twat.

Shut it.

(P.S - Do watch this video on Google Videos putting together a rational case for doubting these useful-idiot-Al-Bore-loving-motherfucking-cunts).

Gordon Brown Calls Himself a Cunt on YouTube

This one just has to tickle you, surely! (Video courtesy of GrumpyOldTwat. Enjoy!)

Some Gentle Persuasion Needed...

Apparently some Mancunian folk have expressed mild miffedness at the presence of the flame haired hater of all things financially honest. People say politicians are out of touch! I say bollocks!

Quoting Hazel the chipmunk, here's the moneyshot:

'This kind of thing has happened to many people in Salford. I think it was just kids on a hot afternoon with nothing better to do.'

So Hazel? What the fucking fuck are you going to do about that? Answer that question and people might not smash your fucking car up.

Piss the fuck off, you old bat.

The Day We Caught The Train

Chelsea fans are cunts. It's fucking official, OK?

I just got stuck on a train full of these semi-neanderthal thick Chelsea supporting shits and I'm not fucking happy about it. Listen pricks, if your team wins the tinpot teapot Charity Shield, averages combined with recent history tell us you'll fuck up in the Premier League.

So stop singing, swap your beer for a glass of cyanide and fuck the fuck off back under that rock you were all created under when Adam and Eve got pissed up on booze. Just like you, you cunts.

Cunt Watch: Jay Hunt

This week's cunt is brought to you by our very own Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation:

Jay C(H)unt is just another troughing fat controller at the Labour Party's brainwashing arm. It seems all you have to do to survive this minor economic downturn is start a half-arsed media consultancy before proceeding to get your big tool into this sultry old bitch. Perhaps the BBC isn't as anti all things male as they let on.

As an observant sidenote, Mr. C doesn't approve of this woman, but for an old bird she has half decent tits.

So, what are you going to be spending YOUR licence tax on this year? I think mine will be going on booze and cigarettes personally.

Choose Labour...

Choose Labour.

Choose no job.

Choose benefits.

Choose a broken family.

Choose a fucking big TV licence.

Choose expense scams, ASBOs, guns and the European Union.

Choose state control, CCTV and a police state.

Choose extortionate mortgage repayments.

Choose an overpriced home.

Choose Lose your friends.

Choose stealth taxes and overpaid councillors.

Choose some thirty pieces of silver from F. Hinds with no fucking value.

Choose the BBC and wondering where the fuck Britain is on a Sunday morning.

Choose sitting on that couch watching multicultural climate change reports.

Stuffing overpriced organic food into your mealy mouth.

Choose euthanasia at the end of it all, pissing your last in an understaffed, overspent NHS hospital.

Nothing more apt for the selfish fucked up brat your parents spawned to replace orgies and communist marches past.

Choose no future. Choose Labour.

Any suggestions as to things I've missed?

The Coffee Shop

Anyone who knows Mr. C knows that he is rather partial to a good old fashioned strong coffee. Anyway, during my lunchbreak I sometimes venture to a nice little kiosk run by some local fella and get myself a nice strong brew (albeit it in a plastic cup).

Today I took an ultra late lunch (like 5pm late!) but said kiosk was closed so I had to go to Coffee Fucking Republic! Well I never. Mr. C has never witnessed so much pretence since the time he visited the dingy Starbucks in Charing Cross. There they all were, middle class fucking arsewipes giving it the uber-Marxist "we're all working class now" bollocks whilst going berserk on a credit card given to them by the middle class cunt parents that decided to shit on the world in one hit by combining their cuntish fucking gene pools. What the fucking fuck?

Even more intriguing is the array of ultra expensive cream and shit they have on said coffee (I mean more cream than you could ever hope to see on RedTube). You pay an extra 3 quid for that. Of course, there's heaps of do-gooder lefty shit they could do with that 3 quid (charity? You vain cunts), not to mention starting a savings account (or rather sticking it up their arses sideways, preferrably having wrapped barbed wire around the coins first).

So, having bored me to death with your OTT, super loud conversation that I can hear all the way from table 3 about how you were "considering suicide" over some fucking break up or other, how does it feel to know that your thick fucking anarcho-commie self is feeding the corporate beast you profess to hate? I mean I don't give a fuck, I like capitalism. But do you have to make it so fucking easy for me to loathe you, wishing you'd just eat shit and die?

Let's just agree that you agree with me when I say you're a hypocritical fuckwad, OK? That was some fucking coffee...

"Peace man"...

Shoppers From Hell

You'll never guess the what's upsetting Mr. Cunt tonight... Yep, I just went to the fucking supermarket.

Anyway, here's a list of things I fucking hate about fucking supermarkets:

What the fuck is so fucking super about them?

So I get in, I'm through the main doors and I grab my basket (The MOB doesn't buy in bulk...). Off I head towards where the oatmeal bread ought to be when all of a sudden I'm obstructed by some fat shit with a large trolley deliberating over which fucking variety of fucking Mighty White he wants to buy. I mean what the hell? There's about 6p difference between the two, just pick the one up that's closest and fuck the fuck off. It took me a full 2 minutes to get my loaf and even then all I plan to do is insert uncrunchy peanut butter between the slices and take the sorry fuckers to work, by which time they'll be squashed and crumpled like an unironed cotton t-shirt fresh out of bankrupt stock.

Fat Wankers

Why is everyone in the alleged supermarket so fucking fat? I used to subscribe to all that bullshit fat people told us normal people about their metabolism, hormones and whatever other excuses are in fashion this week according to the fucking Guardian. Have you seen how full their fucking trolleys are with cakes and shit? Don't beat about the bush, bollocks - you eat shitloads and do no fucking exercise. That's why you're so fucking fat.

Foreigners

We have these quaint buildings in England called pubs. Usually old buildings with signs on them as well as a blackboard denoting a menu and drinks list of some kind. This is where we socialise after work, not the pissing delicatessen isle of fucking Tesco. Get the fuck out of my way, piss off home and watch your preferred choice of prime time reality shite on fucking television (with subtitles to explain the dumbed down shit if necessary). Fuck the fuck off.

Old Age Pensioners

Listen, I know you're ready and waiting in God's waiting room, have paid your taxes and worked 40 odd years, but does the average dentist put his/her patients in the fruit and veg isle of Sainsbury's? No, and neither does God. So stop stopping here. Stop blocking off the food that's going to hopefully NOT help me live as long as you (without being anything like as irritating, to boot) and piss off to the local coffee morning. Failing that, there's a bargain basement Shearings coach holiday to Hastings. Go on it and don't feel obliged to come back. This town sucks, you're better off dead.

Chavs

Seriously, why don't you cunts just eat shit and fucking die? There's always some cunty chav fuck with a garish pink pushchair in the way of the multi pack Twix bars I'm trying to get to as part of my non-nutritious breakfast. Take your shitty fucking benefits kids with stupid fucking names with you, cash your fucking giro and fucking die. While you're at it, get the fuck out of my way and let me get to the fucking whisky. If you feel as bad as you look, do me a favour and spend my taxes on organic facial products so you don't look so fucking ugly. Fuck the fuck off.

Staff

Listen, you're fucking 15, so don't ask me for ID unless you want this otherwise perfectly functional, shiny, glistening Jacob's Creek (bloody good brand) bottle propping up your left earlobe. I know you've got a duty of care to "society" (whatever that bullshit is) but I've got a carpet growing out of my fucking nose. Do you seriously think I'm underage??? Oh, and is a driving licence not ID anymore? Where's that fat cunt Jacqui Smith when you've got a pissing question at 5:30pm? Piss the fuck off.